Lies, Theft and Shit on the Ceiling
Well… bloody hell. It’s real.
After years of stories, disasters, pub chaos, kitchen meltdowns, questionable life decisions, stolen stock, floods, chefs on the verge of homicide, and one extremely hairy sheepdog supervising absolutely none of it properly… my book is finally finished.
The first printed copies of Lies, theft and shit on the ceiling: A Canadian’s journey to pub ownership in England* arrived today for final copy edits before launch and honestly, seeing it in my hands feels surreal.
This book is part travel story, part pub confessional, part love letter to the absolute lunacy of hospitality. It’s packed with ridiculous true stories, dark humour, recipes, unforgettable characters, and the kind of moments that only happen when you buy an old English pub and somehow survive the experience.
There were times I genuinely thought this thing would never get finished. Life got messy. Work got chaotic. I rewrote chapters endlessly. I laughed writing parts of it and occasionally questioned my sanity writing the rest. But here we are. Actual printed copies.
Public launch is June 21st.
Thank you to everyone who encouraged me, listened to my ridiculous stories over the years, taste-tested recipes, tolerated my editing spirals, and reminded me to keep going when I wanted to throw the manuscript into the sea. Gravy stains and tall tales: A real foodie journeyAndrew SquiresNeil Mitchell Matthew Chapman
And special thanks to everyone Handcross Village Residents Group, Handcross Parish HallThe Handcross Club who survived the pub years with us and somehow lived to tell the tale.
And yes… Juno the Pub Dog made the cover. Obviously. She would never forgive me otherwise.
